Man Up, Fathers!

On June 17, 2015July 29, 2015 By Dr. Casey LewisIn Family, PracticalLeave a comment

Father’s Day is not only a day to honor our fathers’ but it’s also a day, as President Calvin Coolidge said,

“To impress upon fathers the full measure of their obligations [and to encourage fathers] to establish a closer relationship [with] their children”[1].

President Coolidge’s point — Fathers have an obligation to their families — was not only timely in his day, but also in ours because many fathers simple aren’t manning up.

A Father’s Impact by the Statistics

According to the 2014 census Bureau 1 in 4 children under the age of 18 are living without a father. That’s roughly 17.4 million children.

While that statistic alone is astounding, it holds even greater weight when you consider the impact fathers have in the home. Nearly half — 45% — of fatherless homes live in poverty. The median income for families led by a single mother is 26k, while the median income for married families is 84k. Around 45.8% of single mothers receive food stamps[2].

Fathers, however, don’t just play a financial role in families, they also play a developmental role. In those households where fathers are present children tend to fair better cognitively, be better behaved, have a greater psychological well-being, are less likely to be delinquents and find themselves incarcerated, are less likely to abuse substances, and are less likely to be poor when they get older.

Also children who grow up with fathers in the home typically delay sexual activity, attend college, get a higher paying job, and have a stable family life when they get married[3].

There is more, but I think you get the idea: Father’s have a huge impact on their homes.

A Father’s Job Requires More than Just Being Home

A father’s job, however, is not done, just by being home. Fathers also have to be involved. One major way fathers are to be involved is by training their children in God’s Word.

In Ephesians 6:4, Paul says,

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Eph. 6:4)

We learn in this verse that Father’s are to lead their families by bringing them up in the discipline and instruction of the Word of God.

In order for fathers to do that, they have to see themselves as the primary spiritual leader. They can’t pawn it off on mom or the church. They have to be the spiritual leader themselves. Now that doesn’t mean mom or the church can’t instruct our children — that is not what I am saying. Instead what I am getting at is that fathers have to realize and take responsibility for being the primary spiritual leader in their household.

As the leader, as our child’s instructor, we are not only to instruct them in everyday things, but we are also to instruct them in the Word of God.

This goes for those who have children at home, and for those whose children have left the home. We are always our kids father, so we should always be teaching them. That will certainly look different when they are in the home, than when they are out, but we should always be playing a teaching role in their lives.

I can’t stress how important that is. I can’t stress how important it is for fathers to lead their families in a biblical way. I can’t stress how important it is for our society and our church for fathers to be involved in the spiritual development of their children.

A Father’s Job Requires the Power of the Gospel

But here’s the thing. We often fail at our job. I know I do. As I thought about why I fail, I realized its because I am selfish. I am selfish with my time, with my wants, and my desires. You see, instead of using my time in preparation or training, I shirk my responsibility to do what I want. You know what, I’ll continue to do that until Jesus changes my heart from one of selfishness to one of selflessness. Thankfully, Jesus will change our hearts and will continue to change our hearts.

Jesus is able to change our hearts because, unlike us, he didn’t shirk His responsibility. Instead He did exactly what the Father asked. He went to the cross as our Savior.

Those who believe in Jesus as their Lord and Savior are made into a new creation whose hearts are changed, and are consistently being changed through the work of the Holy Spirit.

Then, and only then, are we able to fulfill God’s command — to instruct our children in His Word. That tells us:

Fathers can only lead their families by the power of the gospel.

That is an important idea to grasp because it means we can’t accomplish the task God has asked of fathers apart from Him. We can’t do it by trying harder. We can’t do it by pulling up our bootstraps. We can only do it through the power of the gospel.

Instructing our children in God’s Word requires more than self-determination, it requires a changed heart and the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

As fathers, we have to recognize our own inadequacy. We have to recognize we can’t be the father God has called us to be in our own power. We have to recognize that because its only then that will we turn to God. It is only then that we will rely on Him and seek His power.

So we see there is not only a need for fathers to be at home and to be involved, but there is also a need to be renewed and empowered by the gospel. It is only then that fathers will lead their families as God desires.

So fathers, let’s lean into the gospel. Let’s take God’s Word seriously. Let’s be involved in our kids lives. Let’s train them, let’s instruct them in the Word of God. Let’s man up this Father’s Day.

Question for Reflection

Are you your child’s primary spiritual leader?

Resources

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[1] http://www.livescience.com/10697-father-day-turns-100.html
[2] https://singlemotherguide.com/single-mother-statistics/
[3] http://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/25-facts-on-the-importance-of-fathers

Men, Don’t Just Talk the Talk

On August 6, 2014July 26, 2015 By Dr. Casey LewisIn Devotionals, Family3 Comments

If you were to read the hobbies section on my Facebook, you would notice I am into reading, blogging, and running. I do all those things almost every week. If you keep reading, however, you will notice it also says I like to work out, rock climb, and surf. While those things are listed, if I am honest, I haven’t done any of those activities in quite a while.

Now, I can talk to you for hours about each of them. I know the lingo, but I don’t actually climb, surf, or workout anymore. So while I can talk the talk, I am not walking the walk.

TALKING THE TALK WITHOUT WALKING THE WALK

Often times a lot of churchgoers know how to talk the talk, but don’t walk the walk—especially those who have been around church for any length of time. They can talk all about the Bible and “churchy things” because they have been around it for most of their lives. However, when it comes to obeying all of Jesus’ commands (Matt. 28:20) they don’t do it. They aren’t walking the walk. Instead, they are just talking the talk.

Disciples of Jesus—those who have been regenerated by the Spirit, repented of their sins, and placed their faith in Jesus—not only talk about Scripture, they also allow it to guide their lives. They walk the walk.

Read the rest of my recently published article at Gospel Centered Discipleship

Why Do We Rebel?

On July 11, 2014July 31, 2015 By Dr. Casey LewisIn Family, Practical3 Comments

“But if that wicked servant says to himself, ‘My master is delayed,’ and begins to beat his fellow servants and eats and drinks with drunkards,” (Mt 24:48–49)

In Matthew 24:48-49 Jesus pictures one of two servants. The second servant, the one we see here, is much different than the first. Instead of remaining faithful the entire time his master is gone and taking care of his fellow servants. He does the opposite.

Jesus tells us with the master delayed in returning, the servant forgets his master and the task he has been given. As a result, he begins to indulge his flesh.

Notice he does two things:

(1) He acts unjustly – He abuses his position and those under him. Instead of taking care of and feeding his fellow servants, he beats them. He lashes out against them in violence.

(2) He befriends drunkards – Eating and drinking with them, and inevitable taking up their lifestyle – their actions and way of living.

Change Didn’t Occur Overnight

Now, I want you to understand the change in this man didn’t occur overnight. A switch didn’t just flipped in his heart so that he became corrupt. No, these things were always in his heart. They just didn’t have an opportunity to come out. You see, his master was the one who was restraining him. With his master gone, with the restraint lifted, he could act as he pleased.

So his current actions — beating his fellow servants and hanging with drunkards — was the actual state of his heart. He just needed an opportunity for that to show.

Applying It To Us

I think we see something similar in our own lives and our own churches.

Think of that kid who grew up in the church. All their life they were taught to act a certain way — Don’t be a drunkard, don’t use drugs, don’t have sex before you get married, and always go to church. While they lived at home, for the most part, they lived by those rules.

However, as soon as they moved out of their parent’s house or went off to college in another town, they started doing all the things they were told they weren’t supposed to do. They started using drugs, getting drunk, having sex with their girlfriend or boyfriend and stopped showing up to church.

As parents, we wonder why? I mean, “They were so good at home. Why are they acting this way now?”

Well, the reason they do is the same reason the second servant — the unfaithful servant — acts the way he acts.

The restraining power of the master is no longer present. When that is taken way, the heart will show it’s true nature.

That’s exactly what happened with this servant, and that is exactly what happens with kids who grow up in the church but then go off to live as if they didn’t grow up in the church.

Or you might think of another scenario. How about the church going business man who goes on a business trip and looks at porn in his hotel room, or even worse, cheats on his wife. That happens for the same reason. The restraining power of the master has been taken away and their true heart is able to come out.

The same thing with people who go off to Las Vegas for vacation. There is nothing there to restrain them. Vegas knows this so they play it up and you see that with their motto: What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

So all this tells us is that:

Our true nature shows through when external restraints are taken away.

When the outside influence that keeps our true desires at bay is no longer there, they (our suppressed desires) will come out, showing our true heart. That is what happens to the servant here in our passage, the young adult who leaves home, the businessman who goes on a trip, or the person who goes to Vegas for vacation. When the restraint is lifted, their true heart is shown.

Questions for Reflection

Do you believe our environment can have that kind of restraint on us?
How do you explain the teenager who was a saint at home, but a hellion on his/her own?

Resource

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Learning to Teach from the Master Himself

On April 16, 2014July 29, 2015 By Dr. Casey LewisIn Family, Leadership, Pastoral, PreachingLeave a comment

If there is one person who can teach us to teach others, it’s Jesus. He is a master teacher. A teacher whose teaching impacted and connected with the 1000’s who followed Him.

His teaching connected because He knew how to relate to His listeners. His parables weren’t chosen at random. Rather, they were purposefully selected for their teaching and relatability.

We Should Relate to Others with Our Teaching

Likewise, we should use scenarios that relate well to those we are teaching. While that statement is easy for me to write, it’s not easy to do. More and more I find, in our mobile society, many of us come from different background, grow up in different parts of the country, and are influenced by differing world views. All of which make it difficult to relate to others.

Even though that is true, we shouldn’t give up. Instead, we must ratchet up our efforts in getting to know those we are teaching. We must work to understand their background, their cultural customs, and their worldview.

Parents and Grandparents are Teachers Too

While we primarily think of Pastors, Sunday School Teachers, and Bible Study Leaders as teachers, as those who need to heed this advice, I also have another group in mind – Parents and Grandparents. You guys are teachers too. You teach your kids and grandkids on a daily basis.

As you all know and have experienced, even though you live in the same house, it’s not easy to relate to one another. That, however, doesn’t mean we give up in frustration. God has commanded us to teach our children and grandchildren. So instead of giving up, we have to work to relate to them.

The best way to get to know others is to hangout with them, ask questions, and listen. If you do that, you’ll be in a better position to not only understand their struggles and temptations, but you will know how you might relate biblical truth in a way that will impact them.