How Do We Avoid Conflict?

(3) Be a peacemaker by striving to be pure.

Those who are pure live opposite worldly wisdom. They live according to God’s Word: Peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.

James says, 

“But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.” (Jas 3:17–18)

The peaceable person avoids arguments or violent conflict. While those who are gentle are not harsh, but careful with others feelings. 

Those open to reason don’t live by the motto “My way or the highway.” Instead they are willing to sit down and discuss with others, even yielding their will at times when a moral or unalterable theological principle is not involved.

While those full of mercy and good fruits don’t hold sins against another. They are forgiving. They have love for their neighbor and are generous in giving to others in need. 

The impartial do not show partiality to one group over the other. While the sincere are not double-minded, but free from hypocrisy or playing a part, as well as they don’t hold to a double standard.

Summary

The pure are peacemakers, sowing peace in a community instead of conflict. So if you want peace, be a peacemaker instead of a peace breaker.

Looking Forward

The next post in this series suggests we can avoid conflict by not speaking evil against one another.

Question for Reflection

1. Are you a peacemaker?

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How Do We Avoid Conflict?

(2) Kill the passions at war within.

James lists several passions waging war inside us. Jealousy, covetousness, selfish ambition, and a desire to fulfill our pleasures. James says,

“But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.” (Jas 3:14–16)

“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” (Jas 4:1–4)

Jealousy and covetousness desires what someone else possesses. Selfish ambition doesn’t consider others. Conflict is sure to follow, if we allow jealousy and selfish ambition to take root in our hearts.

Jealousy and selfish ambition corrupt our thought life. Instead of celebrating another’s victories and success, we say things like, “Why are they getting all the recognition? I deserve recognition for my work, intellect, ideas more than they do. Who do they think they are stealing my glory? Taking the spotlight from me? Don’t they know who I am?”

When these sins take root in our heart, we will do whatever it takes to get what we want. Degrade others. Point our their failures instead of their successes. Turn a cold shoulder. Gossip or slander our opponent. Verbally or physically attack another, or even worse.

God doesn’t call us to strive for our desires, but His. He doesn’t call us to jealousy, but to turn from jealousy. He doesn’t call us to fulfill our sinful passions, but to do all we can to fulfill His will. It’s not easy. Our passions are at war in us desiring to please our sinful flesh.

How do we kill the passions at war within?

• (1) Pray for the Lord to strengthen and purify us.

• “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” (Jas 4:8)

• (2) Repent, turn from sin, and resist Satan’s temptations.

• “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” (Jas 4:7)

• “Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.” (Jas 4:8–10)

• (3) Recognize our worldly desires put us at enmity with God.

• “You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”?” (Jas 4:4–5)

• (4) Realize the root of jealousy and selfish ambition is pride and a desire to be accepted.

• “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Submit yourselves therefore to God.” (Jas 4:6–7)

• (5) Turn to the gospel in humility recognizing our acceptance from God is greater.

• “But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”” (Jas 4:6)
• “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.” (Jas 4:10)

The gospel reminds us Christ is supreme. He reigns as King. Christ is the greatest, not us. We are sinners who need a Savior, leaving us nothing to boast in but Christ. He is the all righteous, all powerful, almighty King, who went to the cross to die in our place in order to restore our relationship with the Father. When we believe in Christ as our Lord and Savior, we are accepted by the Father, and our relationship is made right.

Meditating on the gospel should kill our pride, as well as it should teach and remind us their is no greater acceptance than what we gain in Christ. Man’s acceptance is not necessary, its irrelevant, especially, when we realize we have the greatest acceptance of all – God’s.

Looking Forward

The next post in this series suggests we can avoid conflict by being a peacemaker.

Question for Reflection

1. Are you Jealous of another’s position?

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At home, work, or church conflict happens. It is not pretty. It is not desired. It causes riffs in our community, but it happens. With all the negative consequences, we wonder how can we keep conflict out? James offers the answer in his epistle. For the next four posts, I hope to provide some of James’ wisdom.

How Do We Avoid Conflict?

(1) Don’t promote yourself as wise.

Wise men don’t promote themselves as wise. They are given the title. James 3:13 says,

“Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom.”

Apparently, some in James’ church claimed the status of wise man. They did so because they desired to lead the community. Knowing the leaders and teacher are wise men, they heralded themselves as wise in order to obtain the position.

James, however, tells us wise men are discovered through observation. Their good conduct and humility attest to their wisdom. As they follow the Lord, living according to His word in humility, serving others instead of themselves, they are recognized as wise.

Wise men recognize promoting themselves leads to conflict. Especially, if all or part of the community doesn’t agree, or if there is someone else promoting themselves. Those two are sure to butt heads causing unwanted conflict.

So then, the answer to avoiding conflict is to not promote ourselves, but let others recognize our wisdom through our actions.

Looking Forward

The next post in this series suggests we can avoid conflict by killing the passions within.

Question for Reflection

1. Do you do say things in order to promote yourself as wise?

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