Tag: christian

How Should Christians Handle Conflict?

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Practical2 Comments

Christianity is unique in that it brings people together from all walks of life to live in community with one another. While our hearts have been changed, we are still sinners, which means we are bound to experience conflict with one another. How we handle that conflict is important because it often means the difference between ongoing fights that throw us off mission or increased unity that brings us together on mission for Christ.

How Should Christians Handle Conflict?

(1) We have to address conflict quickly.

In Genesis 13 a conflict arises between Abraham and Lot’s shepherds over the land allotted for their livestock.

“And Lot, who went with Abram, also had flocks and herds and tents, so that the land could not support both of them dwelling together; for their possessions were so great that they could not dwell together, and there was strife between the herdsmen of Abram’s livestock and the herdsmen of Lot’s livestock. At that time the Canaanites and the Perizzites were dwelling in the land. Then Abram said to Lot, “Let there be no strife between you and me, and between your herdsmen and my herdsmen, for we are kinsmen.” (Ge 13:5–8)

After realizing there was a conflict between his shepherds and Lot’s, Abraham goes to Lot right away. He doesn’t let it stew. He doesn’t start a family feud by telling his men to fight back. He doesn’t do any of those things. Instead, he addressed the conflict soon after he found out it was happening.

We are to do the same. In fact, the urgency with which we handle conflict should be of top priority. Jesus makes this clear in Matthew 5:23-24 when He says,

“So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” (Mt 5:23–24)

Jesus’ words tell us that God takes unresolved conflict seriously, so seriously that if you are at the altar about to sacrifice and you remember that your brother has something against you, you are to leave the altar, presumably your sacrifice as well, to go reconcile with him. Only once you have sought reconciliation, should you come back and move forward with your worship.

Conflict should not only be dealt with quickly because it hinders our worship, it should also be dealt with quickly because it hinders our witness to the community.  In verse 7 of Genesis 13, there is what seems like an unremarkable statement about the Canaanites and Perizzites living in the land. That statement, however, is important. Its inclusion reminds us that the world is watching. They see how we interact with one another. What they see may help or hurt our witness. Think about it, if all the world sees in our churches is conflict and disunity, our witness to them about the power of the gospel to change lives will fall on deaf ears. On the other hand, if the world sees people who are loving and forgiving one another in ways that they would never think of doing, if they see people dealing with conflict well and are, for the most part, unified, they may begin to think there is actually something about the message we are proclaiming.

So for the sake of the gospel and for the glory of God, we need to deal with conflict when it arises. We can’t wait until sometime in the distant future or just hope it will disappear. We must deal with it quickly if we want our worship and witness to be God honoring.

(2) We have to approach the other person in a tender, gracious, and loving manner.

Notice how Abraham approaches Lot in verse 8. He says,

“Let there be no strife between you and me, and between your herdsmen and my herdsmen, for we are kinsmen.” (Ge 13:8)

I quoted verse 8 out of the ESV, but if you read it in the NASB or NKJV verse 8 begins with the word “Please”, so that Abraham says, “Please let there be…”. I believe the translators chose to include “please” to emphasize the manner in which Abraham approached Lot. He didn’t go at him in a harsh, domineering, or aggressive way. Instead, he appeals to him in a tender, gracious, and loving manner.

Like Abraham, we have to approach others in a tender, gracious, and loving manner if we want to de-escalate the situation and work towards a resolution.

So while we should handle conflict quickly, we must also choose our approach and words carefully. If we don’t, things can quickly escalate or get worse, even if that wasn’t our intention.

(3) We have to be willing to stand down, even taking a loss for the sake of our relationship.

After Abraham approaches Lot, he says in verse 9,

“Is not the whole land before you? Separate yourself from me. If you take the left hand, then I will go to the right, or if you take the right hand, then I will go to the left.”” (Ge 13:9)

Of course, this means that Abraham is giving Lot the opportunity to pick the best land for himself. Certainly, Abraham knew this could result in a loss. A loss that he didn’t have to take. God had given him the land, not Lot. He could have told his nephew where to go, but he didn’t. Instead, he was willing to stand down, even willing to take a loss for the sake of their relationship.

Taking a loss for the sake of our relationship might seem radical, but in doing so, we are modeling the gospel. Starting in Philippians 2:4 we read,

“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” (Php 2:4–8)

You see, Jesus took a loss for us. He died a death He didn’t have to die. He did so to pay the penalty for our sins so that we might have a restored relationship with the Father and everlasting life.

We must, as Paul tells us, have the mind of Christ. We must not only look out for our own interests but for the interests of others as well. So following in the footsteps of Jesus, we should be willing to stand down, even to take a loss for the sake of another and our relationship with them.

Of course, doing so goes against all that is natural to us. As one commentator says,

“The world’s way of getting ahead is to look out for number one, but God’s way is to look up to number one and to be a blessing to others.” [1]

As Christians, we not only have the example but the power to be a blessing to others by taking a loss because we have been changed by the gospel. As well as we have God’s promise to provide for all our needs. The latter half of Matthew 6 comes to minds. In verse 31, Jesus says,

“Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (Mt 6:31–33)

When we believe God’s promise to care for our needs, we are freed to be generous even to take a loss because we know that God is in control and He will provide for us.

Questions for Reflection

  1. How do you handle conflict?
  2. Are you willing to take a loss for the sake of resolving conflict?
  3. Are God’s glory and your witness foremost when you consider dealing with conflict in your relationships?

Resources

Post adapted from my sermon: Do Our Choices Matter?

[1] https://bible.org/seriespage/17-tale-two-men-genesis-135-18 

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“Of Whom I am the Worst”, John Newton and Amazing Grace

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Devotionals, Quotes2 Comments

John Newton’s hymn “Amazing Grace” was written from personal experience, for Newton himself was among the worst of sinners. At the age of eleven, he took to the sea, where he had many adventures: he was press-ganged into the navy; he was captured and flogged for desertion; he despaired almost to the point of suicide. Eventually, Newton became a slave-trader, a hard and wretched man. But he was shown mercy. As he feared for his life in stormy seas, he threw himself on the grace of God, which he found in abundance. Later he testified, “How wonderful is the love of God in giving his Son to die for such wretches!”

Even after he was saved, Newton continued to confess his need of God’s amazing grace. He wrote in one of his letters, “In defiance of my best judgment and best wishes, I find something within me which cherishes and cleaves to those evils, from which I ought to start and flee, as I should if a toad or a serpent was put in my food or in my bed. Ah! how vile must the heart (at least my heart) be.” Newton did not despair, however. Before closing the letter, he quoted Paul’s words to Timothy: “I embrace it as a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners.”

Every Christian knows how to complete Newton’s quotation in the quietness of a believing heart: “of whom I am the worst.”

Question for Reflection

  1. Do you see yourself as the worst of sinners?

Resources

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This post is an extended quote by Philip Graham Ryken, 1 Timothy, ed. Richard D. Phillips, Daniel M. Doriani, and Philip Graham Ryken, Reformed Expository Commentary (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing, 2007), 29.

How Should Christians Work? – Part 1

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Leadership, PracticalLeave a comment

Work, it’s something we do a lot of. I am not sure if you have ever figured it up, but on a 40 hour work week, you will spend over 2,000 hours a year working. Over 30 years that amounts to roughly 62,000 hours or 2,600 straight days at work. I think it is safe to say that work is a big part of our lives.

Work is also a necessary part of our lives because without work we wouldn’t survive. We have to pay for the place live, the food we eat, the car we drive, the clothes we wear, and the things we do. So work is not only a big part of our lives, it’s a necessity.

Since we work so much, and retirement is far away for most of us, it’s important we have a biblical understanding of work.

How Should Christians Work?

(1) As Christians, our work should always be genuine

One of the first long-term jobs I had out of college was at a staffing company. I began working for them in Atlanta and ended up moving to Dallas to help open a satellite office. I didn’t move to Dallas alone. Four other people from the corporate office moved with me. Everyone who moved to Dallas had done really well in the Atlanta office, which only makes sense, after all, you aren’t going to trust your brand new satellite office to those who are having a hard time with sales or recruiting at the Corporate office.

Our new office looked promising. There, however, was just one problem, no one was appointed as the head of the office. Instead, a bunch of twenty-somethings was thrown in an office half-way across the country and told to work without any oversight. While it wasn’t a total bust, most of us worked hard, there was one guy in our office who didn’t. It is not that he didn’t do anything. He made a few obligatory calls, participated in our daily office meetings, made sure I was working on the few jobs he had pulled in, but the rest of the day he watched videos on his computer, talked to his friends on the phone, and joked around with people in the office. That was his daily routine until one of the executives from the Atlanta office came out to check on things.

When the executives were there, his work ethic picked up 100%. He was on the phone all day setting meetings, pulling in jobs for me to work on, as well as he made it a point to talk up all that he had done in the office, or was supposed to be doing. You see, his goal was to be head of the office in Dallas. He knew if he wanted that position, he had to impress the executives, which is exactly what he set out to do, but only when they were there and they could see him.

Now, the way he worked is the exact opposite of how Paul calls Christians to work in Colossians 3. In verse 22 he says,

“Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord.” (Col 3:22)

According to Paul, we aren’t just to work hard when our bosses are watching. Instead, we are to work with “sincerity of heart“. In other words, what our boss sees when in the office should be what they can expect when they are out of the office. Our work, then, should always be genuine.

Our genuine work should be driven by our fear of the Lord. When the Bible talks about fearing God what it means is that we are to live in awe and wonder of Him, that we are to have an intense love and respect for Him. Those things should be what drives us to work well.

When we allow the fear of the Lord to drive our work, people will see a difference in the way we work. They won’t just see us doing things for attention, accolade, or promotion, like many of their co-workers, or even themselves. Rather they will see us as genuine. People appreciate people who are genuine, even if they aren’t genuine themselves.

Being genuine not only pleases God, but it also opens up a conversation with others about why we work the way we work. It gives us an opportunity to tell other people about Jesus. How He has changed our heart, and how that has affected our work.

So as Christians, our work should always be genuine. We shouldn’t seek to please man, but God.

Question for Reflection

  1. Is your work genuine?

Resources

Post adapted from my sermon How Should We Work from a Christian Perspective?

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Fill Your Affections with the Cross of Christ

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Devotionals, Quotes2 Comments

Indwelling Sin In Believers - John OwenLabour, therefore, to fill your hearts with the cross of Christ. Consider the sorrows he underwent, the curse he bore, the blood he shed, the cries he uttered, the love that was in all this to your souls, and the mystery of the grace of God in it. Meditate on the vileness, the guilt, the punishment of sin as seen in the cross, the blood, and the death of Christ. Was Christ crucified for sin, and shall not our hearts be crucified with him to sin? Shall we give place to, or listen to the folly of, that which wounded, pierced, and slew our dear Lord Jesus? God forbid! Fill your affections with the cross of Christ, that there may be no room for sin. The world once turned him out of doors, into a stable, when he came to save us; let him turn the world out of doors, now that he has come to sanctify us (100).

Are You a Church Consumer?

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Church Life, Devotionals, Quotes1 Comment

One of the hallmarks of the modern mindset is individualism. We instinctively focus on the freedom and the rights of the individual to do or say whatever he or she chooses. This attitude has inevitably spread into Christian culture, where my commitment to God’s people has been replaced by the idea that a church should serve and fulfill me, providing the teaching, music, friendship and sub-culture that I desire.

Yet really, this is only an expression of our sinfulness, a way of putting ourselves at the centre of our own lives.

When God rescues people, however, He puts them together to live for the benefit of one another. This means that my greatest concern should not be how a church could serve me, but how I may best serve that church, using the gifts that God has given me.

Question for Reflection

  1. How can you best serve your church with the gifts God has given you?

Resources

Read/Mark/Learn Romans, 232

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On Guard: Watching for the Things that Influence Us

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Church Life, Discipleship, PracticalLeave a comment

Like most schools, Southwestern Seminary in Fort Worth has a security staff that patrols the campus 24 hours a day. One of my good friends worked for them for a while. Since he was the low man on the totem pole, he had to work the night shift, which is not really conducive for a seminary student taking classes during the day, but he took the job anyways.

At night my friend had to patrol mostly by himself. As he did, he told me he always had to be watchful, never letting his guard down because he never knew who or what he might encounter.

In the same way, Paul tells us we have to always be watchful, not getting too comfortable and letting our guard down. Instead we must always be aware of what is influencing us.

What influences should we be watchful for?

(1) Culture’s Influence 

Everyday we are bombarded with messages on the tv, in the newspaper, and on the internet that have the power to shape our worldview — how we view or see the world. That’s a problem because as Christians, our worldview should be shaped by God’s Word, not by the culture’s word.

One way to avoid being influenced by the culture is to consistently run its messaging through the lens of the Bible. In other words, we must constantly check our culture’s ideas against that of the Bible’s. The only way we are going to be effective at checking the world’s ideas against the Bible’s is for us to know God’s Word, which is where we run into a problem. As senior research Professor David Wells says,

Every study on the internal life of churches shows that they are becoming increasingly less literate biblically. With that, our ability to judge where our culture is intruding upon our souls is diminished [1].

Wells’ research not only looked at new Christians, but seasoned Christians as well. His conclusion, then, is representative of both groups, which tells us that we don’t know the Bible as well as we should. In fact we are trending more and more biblically illiterate by the year. Our biblical illiteracy is the result of a lack of prioritizing God’s Word.

How should we response to Wells’ research? 

We shouldn’t beat ourselves up over it. Instead, we should feel the conviction, repent, and then commit to making a better effort in prioritizing God’s Word in our lives.

If you don’t know where to start, let me encourage you to start by reading through the Bible. So you don’t get too bogged down, start by reading two or three chapters in the Old Testament and one or two chapters in the New Testament. By doing that, you will read the New Testament faster, which is ok. When you get finished, just start back in Matthew.

As you read, write down questions your reading sparks, then spend some time later on answering those questions. Don’t get too bogged down in all the laws and genealogies you will encounter at the beginning of the Bible. If you find your eyes glazing over, just skim them while asking yourself, what characteristics do these laws reveal about God.

(2) Bad Theology

I am often shocked by what some Christian bookstores put on their shelves, and advertise front and center as you walk in the door. Just because a book is on the shelf of your local Christian bookstore, doesn’t mean it can be trusted. There is a lot of bad theology out there, which means we have to always be on guard. Every sermon, Bible study, tv or radio broadcast; every book, article, or blog could be an opportunity for bad theology to creep in, so we must keep our guard up.

How do we guard ourselves? The same way we guard ourselves from culture’s influence — by knowing our Bible and using it. We must make it a point to check everything against God’s Word, just like the Bereans did when Paul taught them. I know many of you have heard the phrase “Be Berean’s”. Well, that’s what we have to be. We have to be Bereans in order to guard ourselves from bad theology.

(3) The Company We Keep

Back in Chapter 15 in verse 33, Paul says,

“Do not be deceived: Bad company ruins good morals.” (1 Cor. 15:33)

As much as we would like to think that we will remain strong no matter the people we are around, it’s simple not true. If non-Christians are our only friends, we are going to be influenced by them. I know this first hand. When I transferred to the University of Georgia, I roomed with some great guys but they weren’t Christians. As a result, I started living and thinking like them.

In order to combat the influence of non-Christians in our lives, we need a solid support network of Christians. I say it like that because I don’t want you to get the impression that you should severe all relationships with non-Christians, because we shouldn’t. As Christians we can’t just gather in our holy huddles blocking out the world completely. We must have non-Christian friends. We are called to make disciples. If we don’t know anyone who isn’t a Christian, it is going to be hard for us to win people to Christ. So we must have non-Christian friends, but we must balance those relationships with a strong Christian support network, one that will hold us accountable and help us grow in God’s Word.

(4) Our Own Actions 

I include this as something we should watch out for because our actions reveal a lot about our heart. They can tell us if we are being influenced by God’s Word, the culture, the company we keep, or our own sinful flesh. So when it comes to our actions, we need to ask ourselves: Are we treating each other harshly, or with love? Are we acting self-centered, or selfless? Are we greedy, or generous? Are we practicing sexual immortality, or sexual restraint? Are we worshipping idols (the things of the world), or Christ?

Our actions tell us a lot about our heart. They tell us a lot about what we are being influenced by, so we need to watch our actions carefully.

Question for Reflection

  1. What are other influences we need to be watchful for?

Resources

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Post adapted from my recent sermon: How can we live in the world, while living for Christ?

[1] David Wells, The Soul-Shaping Reality of the Gospel, an interview in Table Talk Magazine, January 2011.