Category: Respectable Sins

Respectable Sins: 4 Manifestations of Selfishness | Part 4

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Discipleship, Practical, Respectable SinsLeave a comment

In my last post in this series, I discussed how we are often selfish with our money. If you would like to read that post, you can do so by clicking here. Today I will deal with our selfishness regarding our consideration of others.

Our Consideration of Others

Those who are inconsiderate are really being selfish because the only consideration they have is for themselves. We see this in Philippians 1:15-17:

“Some indeed preach Christ from envy and rivalry, but others from good will. The latter do it out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely but thinking to afflict me in my imprisonment.”

What are some areas in which we can be inconsiderate?

Being inconsiderate manifests itself in a number of ways, here are just a few:

  • Always being late – When we make others wait, we are being inconsiderate of their time.
  • Talking too loudly on our cell phones – When we talk too loud on our phones in public, so that it disturbs those around us, we are being inconsiderate.
  • Being rude or indifferent to our waitress – When we are rude or indifferent to others, we show that we do not care about their feelings. We only care about our own feelings. It takes almost no effort at all to say, “Thank you.” [1]

The Greatest Example of Unselfishness 

The Lord Jesus Christ Himself is the greatest example of unselfishness. In Philippians 2:5-11, we are told that He did not hold onto His position as God for His own selfish gain. Rather, He gave up certain privileges when He came to earth as a man. He then gave up His life, dying on the cross for the sin’s of mankind, so that we might have eternal life.

How do we Mortify Selfishness?

In order to kill selfishness, we need to reflect on the gospel. We must realize that we would not have a restored relationship with God or eternal life, if Jesus had not thought others more important than Himself and humbled Himself on the cross. Thinking on Jesus’ actions should spur us on to be selfless. So then, we should pray that the Holy Spirit would show us how we are selfish and give us the power to rid that sin from our lives. We should also preach the gospel to ourselves, reminding ourselves of Christ’s selflessness.

Questions for Reflection

  1. Does your daily interactions tell you that you are inconsiderate of others?
  2. What does Christ’s sacrifice tell us about how we should act?
  3. What form does selfishness take in your life?

Resources

[1] Jerry Bridges, Respectable Sins, 105-106.

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Respectable Sins: 4 Manifestations of Selfishness | Part 3

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Discipleship, Practical, Respectable Sins2 Comments

In my last post in this series, I discussed how we are often selfish with our time. If you would like to read that post, you can do so by clicking here. Today I will deal with our selfishness regarding our money.

Our Money

America is one of the, if not the, riches countries in the world, but less than 2 percent of our money is given to charities or religious causes [1]. When we do give, it is often a minimal amount, and it is usually directed toward popular charities that have popped up as a result of a world disaster. The reason people typically give once to major popular causes rather than often to lesser known causes is because it makes them feel good, which is a form of selfishness.

Why is selfishness with our money a sin?

The reason selfishness with our money is a sin is because it is a form of greed (see Matt. 23:25). Here is what Paul has to say,

“But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one.” (1 Co 5:11)

Going even further, the underlying sin or motive of someone who is selfish with their money is at least three-fold.

First, there is a lack of trust in God. They do not trust Him to provide for their needs.

Second, there is a lack of joy in God. They seek happiness in the things money can buy, rather than in their relationship with the Lord.

Lastly, there is a lack of finding their status in Christ. Instead, they seek the status money affords them, showing they find their significance in what other people think about them.

What can we do to rid this sin from our lives?

I believe there are three things we can do:

First, we need to trust in the Lord. Realizing that He is the One who provides us with everything that we own, and He is the One who will take care of our needs.

Second, we need not find our happiness or joy in our money because it is fleeting. We only gain true joy from accomplishing our God given purpose in life, which is to serve and glorify God. Then and only then can we experiencetrue joy that is not fleeting or circumstantial. 

Lastly, we need to realize that what others think of us is not what should provide us with significance. Everyone is significant because they have been created in the image of God. As well as those who are believers are God’s children. A status and significance greater than anything the world could ever give us. So we are to find our significance in God and not in other people. 

Looking Forward

In my next post in this series, I will look at how we are selfish with our consideration of others. Until then, use the questions below to help you reflect on this post.

Questions for Reflection

  1. How does selfishness with your money manifest itself in your life?
  2. What underlying sin do you think causes you to be selfish with your money? Is it a lack of trust in God, a lack of joy in God, or a lack of recognizing your status is found in Christ alone?
  3. What other verses would you recommend for those dealing with this form of selfishness?

Resources

[1] Jerry Bridges, Respectable Sins, 104.

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Respectable Sins: 4 Manifestations of Selfishness | Part 2

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Discipleship, Practical, Respectable Sins4 Comments

In my last post in this series, I discussed how we are often selfish with our interests. If you would like to read that post, you can do so by clicking here. Today I will deal with our selfishness regarding our time.

Our Time

There is only so much time in each day. We can acquire more money, clothes, shoes, or even houses, but we cannot gain more time. There is a fixed amount of it, which makes it a prime candidate for selfishness.

How are we selfish with our time?

We are selfish with our time when we excessively guard it, or when we unduly impose on another person’s time [1]. You can tell when someone is being selfish with their time when they say things like:

  • “That is not my job!”
  • “I will do that later.”
  • “Time is money.”
  • etc.

 Or when they:

  • Ignore others
  • Are always rushing around, as if they have no time for anyone around them.
  • When they are constantly asking others to help them out regardless of the deadlines the other person has to meet.

When we, or others, use these phrases or perform these actions, selfish behavior is usually the reason.

What does Scripture have to say about how we are to act towards others?

Scripture tells us that we are to

“bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ (Gal. 6:2).

So then, if we are to bear one another’s burdens we have to go beyond our normal duties. In order for us to do that, we have to be willing to sacrifice a little bit of our time.

Looking Forward

In my next post in this series, I will look at how we are selfish with our money. Until then, use the questions below to help you reflect on this post.

Questions for Reflection

  1. How do you think we show our selfishness with our time?
  2. How do you find a balance between being selfish and getting your own things done?
  3. What other verses would you recommend when dealing with selfishness?

Resources

[1] Jerry Bridges, Respectable Sins, 104.

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Respectable Sins: 4 Manifestations of Selfishness | Part 1

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Discipleship, Practical, Respectable Sins3 Comments

This week I am continuing to work my way through Jerry Bridges book Respectable Sins. I hope it is helping to bring to light those sins that are common and acceptable amongst Evangelical Christians – sins we commit on a regular basis with no thought that they are sin – so that you will then work on ridding them from your life by the power of the Holy Spirit. The sin we will explore this week is selfishness. Let me start with a definition.

Selfishness defined is as follows:

A person, action, or motive lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.

In order to understand how we are often concerned with our own personal profit or pleasure I will explore four areas where selfishness manifestations itself, which are:

  1. Our interests
  2. Our time
  3. Our money
  4. Our consideration of others

Let’s start today by looking at the first way selfishness generally manifests itself.

Our Interests

In Philippians 2:4 Paul tells us to look out for the interests of others. Here he desires we be concerned with other’s interests. The problem is that we are often concerned with our own interests more than the interests of others. In other words, we consider our affairs to matter more than someone else’s.

How does this work itself out in everyday life?

One way we can know if we are concerned about our own interest is by observing our conversations. If we dominate the conversation, telling of our grandchildren’s latest feat, our latest work project, our kids sports achievements, etc, without caring about the interests of others, then we are being selfish in our interests.

Another way this works itself out is by showing no genuine interest in what others are telling us. Instead, we are bidding our time until we can speak, thinking more about what we are going to say than what the other person is currently telling us. When we do this, we show that we really don’t care about the other person’s interests, we just want someone to listen to what we have to say, which means we are being selfish in our interests.

How do we have a conversation with someone in an unselfish manner?

In order to have a conversation with someone in an unselfish manner, we need to be careful not to dominate the conversation with our interests, as well as we need to be genuinely interested in what the other person is telling us.

How do we correct our behavior?

Before you get to thinking I am telling you that you must just sit there and let the other person speak, let me say, “It is okay to talk about your interests.” If you did not, then you would be a boring person, who no one really knew. Our interests should be expressed, but our interests should not be the dominating factor in our conversations. We should not be talking at the person, but rather we should be talking with them.

The Reason this is a Sin

Selfishness with our interests is a sin because we show ourselves to be “Lovers of Self”, which Paul tells us in 2 Timothy 3:1-5 is a sin. More pointedly, as Jerry Bridges says,

“A self-centered persons cares little for the interests, needs, or desires of others.”[1]

So then, those who are “Lovers of Self” are not operating from a Christian perspective. As Christians, we are called to care for the needs of others by not loving ourselves, but rather we are to be willing to lay down our lives for others, which is what Christ did for us (Phil. 2:5-11).

Looking Forward

In my next post in this series, I will look at how we are selfish with our time. Until then, use the questions below to help you reflect on this post.

Questions for Reflection

  1. How do we show that we do not care about others interests and consider ourselves to be more important than others?
  2. How might we have a conversation with someone without being selfish?
  3. Are there other verses besides Philippians 2:5-11 that you might point someone to in order to help them understand what Christ has done for them by being unselfish?

Resources

[1] Jerry Bridges, Respectable Sins, 103.

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Respectable Sins: 4 Manifestations of Pride | Part 4

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Discipleship, Practical, Respectable Sins1 Comment

In my last post in this series, I discussed the pride of achievements. Today, I continue my discussion by focusing on the pride of an independent spirit.

The Pride of an Independent Spirit

This form of pride expresses itself in two ways: (1) “A resistance to authority, especially spiritual authority”, and (2) “an unteachable attitude.”[1]

This particular form of pride stems from believing that we know everything. When we think we know more than someone else, we are less likely to submit to their spiritual guidance and authority. This is something the Bible condemns. In Hebrews 13:17, we read,

“Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.”

Even though this verse directly applies to spiritual leaders in our churches, the principle of teachability and submission carries over to any situation where we are under the tutelage of a more mature believer. Which means there are those who are more mature than us that can help us grow in our Christian walk. We should take advantage of those relationships by being mentored, which should then result in us mentoring others.

How do we guard against this form of pride?

I believe we can guard against this form of pride by meditating on the following Scriptures.

“My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you,” (Prov. 2:1)

“My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments,” (Prov. 3:1)

“Hear, O sons, a father’s instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight,” (Prov. 4:1)

“My son, be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding,” (Prov. 5:1)

“My son, keep my words and treasure up my commandments with you;” (Prov. 7:1)

All of these Scriptures stress teachability and a respect for authority. Just as a son is to respect his father’s authority and allow him to teach him that which he does not know, we are to respect the spiritual authority of those more mature than us, allowing them to teach us, so that we can grow in our Christian walk.

Questions for Reflection

  1. Are you susceptible to this form of pride?
  2. In what generation does this sin typically surface?
  3. What other issues besides an independent spirit do you believe hinders mentoring relationships in our churches?
  4. How might being mentored by a more mature believer benefit you?
  5. If you are currently being mentored, would you share how that time has benefited your spiritual progress?

Resource

[1] Jerry Bridges, Respectable Sins, 97.

Post Adapted from Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges, 97-100.

Respectable Sins: 4 Manifestations of Pride | Part 3

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Discipleship, Practical, Respectable Sins2 Comments

In my last post in this series, I discussed the pride of correct doctrine. Today, I continue my discussion by focusing on the pride of achievement.

The Pride of Achievement

Let me say upfront, I believe it is okay to take pleasure in and enjoy our accomplishments. Where I believe we become prideful in our achievements is when we believe that we are the ones who got ourselves there, or when we believe we are better than others because of our place in life. In other words,

Pride in our achievements is having too high of an opinion of ourselves and not realizing we have accomplished what we have accomplished because of God’s work in our lives.

While Scripture is replete with references to a “cause-and-effect relationship between hard work and success in any endeavor” (Prov. 13:4; 2 Tim. 2:15; 1 Cor. 9:26-27; Phil. 3:12-14), Scripture also tells us that all our talents and natural skills, intellect, health, and opportunities come from God, so that nothing happens outside of God’s sovereign control and will [1].

Several verses come to mind to back up that claim. Some of which are: 1 Samuel 2:7; Psalm 75:6-7; Haggai 1:5-6.

1 Samuel 2:7-8 reads,

“The Lord makes poor and makes rich; he brings low and he exalts.”

Psalm 75:6-7 reads, 

“For not from the east or from the west and not from the wilderness comes lifting up, but it is God who executes judgment, putting down one and lifting up another.”

Haggai 1:5-6 reads,

“Now, therefore, thus says the Lord of hosts: Consider your ways. You have sown much, and harvested little. You eat, but you never have enough; you drink, but you never have your fill. You clothe yourselves, but no one is warm. And he who earns wages does so to put them into a bag with holes.”

So then, we see that “we have nothing that will enable us to achieve success that we did not receive from God”, because there is nothing that we have that did not come from God since He is the all sovereign Ruler of the universe [2]. Granted, from a human perspective, it does not always seem that God has given us everything we have. Rather, it seems that we have what we have because of our hard work.

However, when we look at Scripture we see that our work ethic, intellect, abilities and talents, as well as our opportunities are all given to us by God. Jerry Bridges, commenting on this idea, says, “There is no such thing as a ‘self-made man’ – that is the man (or woman) who has ‘pulled himself up by his own boot straps'”[3]. God is the one who has given that person the “entrepreneurial spirit and business acumen that enabled” them to succeed [4]. Paul confirms this when he writes in 1 Corinthians 4:6-7,

“I have applied all these things to myself and Apollos for your benefit, brothers, that you may learn by us not to go beyond what is written, that none of you may be puffed up in favor of one against another. For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?”

So we see that we have no reason to be puffed up, God is the one who gives us everything that we have.

How do we guard against this form of pride?

First, we need to realize that when we accomplish anything, we have only done our duty. In Luke 17:10, Jesus says,

“So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.’ ”

Second, all our recognition comes from God, no matter the source. He is the One who causes others to recognize us, and He is the One who causes others to compliment us (Ps. 75:6-7).

Looking Forward

In my next installment in this series, I will focus on the pride of an independent spirit. Until then, reflect on this post through the questions below.

Questions for Reflection

  1. Are you susceptible to this form of pride?
  2. What do you believe God has endowed you with so that you can accomplish all that you have accomplished in life?
  3. What or who do we often believe gets us our achievements?
  4. How might it affect our lives and relationship with God if we rid the pride of achievements from our life?

Resource

[1] Jerry Bridges, Respectable Sins, 93–94.
[2] Jerry Bridges, Respectable Sins, 94.
[3] Ibid.
[4] Ibid.

Post Adapted from Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges, 93-96