Tag: love

What is the Type of Love that Lasts?

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Family, PastoralLeave a comment

When most people think of love, they think of a feeling they get from another person. Think of the way a character in the last romantic comedy you watched described their love for another. Most likely they said something like, “I know it’s crazy but it just feels right.” Or maybe they expressed it by saying “I can’t explain it, but I know I am in love with them.” Or maybe, just maybe they used the often quoted line, “You complete me”. While that stuff makes for good movies, the love pictured by those characters is what we call romantic or erotic love. While romantic or erotic love is not necessarily wrong, we all want a little romance in our lives, building our relationship on romantic or erotic love doesn’t usually make for a marriage that lasts the ages.

Romantic or Erotic Loves Focus

Generally speaking, romantic or erotic love is more concerned with how we benefit from a relationship than the benefits of another. Romantic or erotic love, then, is not other-focused but self-focused. When someone expresses love from a romantic or erotic perspective, what they are really saying is either that that person makes me feel good sexually or personally, or they believe that person is the best partner to help them fulfill their financial or personal goals. But will that type of love last?

Will it Last?

Even with the advent of plastic surgery, gym memberships, and magic creams looks fade. Personal and financial goals can change or go unmet. When change happens, or needs go unmet, feelings usually follow suit and change as well. If your relationship is built strictly on feelings, what are you going to do when your feelings change? Are you going to stick it out or move on? I believe our current divorce rate answers that question for us. Over half of all marriages now end in divorce. Could it be that many of those were built on romantic or erotic love?

The Love that Lasts

The love that lasts is the love Paul speaks of in Colossians 3 when he says,

“Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” (Col 3:19)

The love Paul calls husbands to have for their wives isn’t romantic or erotic love, but agape love. Paul’s command doesn’t necessarily negate romantic love. In other words, a little romance isn’t a bad thing, it just shouldn’t be the primary thing. So husbands don’t use this as an excuse to quit dating or romancing your wife.

Do, however, realize that the love Paul is talking about is much deeper than surface level attraction or romantic gestures meant to conjure up certain feelings. The love mentioned in Colossians 3 is a bedrock or foundational type of love. It is agape love. Agape love is a self-sacrificial love. It is a love that gives rather than takes. It is a love that seeks what is best for the other person rather than what’s best for self. That is the type of love a husband is to have for his wife. It is the type love that sticks around when needs go unmet and feelings change. It is the type of love that lasts.

Question for Reflection

  1. What is the love that is primarily active in your current relationship? Is it me-centered or other-centered?

Resources

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Adapted from my sermon A Wife’s Submission and a Husband’s Love

Let Love Lead You

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Church Life, PracticalLeave a comment

Knowledge is power, and it helps us excel in life. Even so, it can be a hindrance, especially in our church community.

How can knowledge be a hindrance?

Knowledge is a hindrance when we allow it alone to guide us. We see an example of this in 1 Corinthians. There were some in the church who had come to believe that:

“an idol has no real existence,” and that “there is no God but one.” For although there may be so-called gods in heaven or on earth—as indeed there are many “gods” and many “lords”— yet for us there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist.” (1 Co 8:4b–6)

For their understanding, we would praise God because what they believe is correct.

Where they went wrong, however, is in how they applied their knowledge. Since gods and idols are nothing, they concluded it was ok to attend meals thrown in pagan temples by their pagan friends, and even to eat the meat sacrificed to idols.

While their belief may be true, others in the church weren’t there yet. When they saw other brothers and sisters in the church participating in these activities, they were led to believe it was ok to combine these practices with their Christian faith, which resulted in their faith being destroyed (1 Cor. 8:11).

How should we use our knowledge?

(1) Love must lead us

As Paul begins chapter 8, at the end of verse 1 he says,

“This knowledge puffs up, but love builds up.” (1 Cor. 8:1b).

Paul’s statement tells us love must lead us. Love should lead us because it has others best interest in mind. Unlike Knowledge, which often serve to puff us up, love is willing to sacrifice for another. Love is willing to give of our rights, desires, and freedom for the sake of another.

When we think about it, giving up our rights, desires, and freedoms is not our natural tendency. Naturally, we hold those things close because we are selfish. The only way we are going to love in a way that allows us to joyfully give up our rights, freedom, and desires at times for another is if we have experienced love like that ourselves.

I believe we experience that type of love in the gospel. The Father loved us so much that He gave of His only Son, Jesus. The Son, Jesus, loved us so much that He was willing to give of His life for us. He hung on a cross dying in our place, while the Father poured the wrath we deserve out on Him. Hanging there, receiving God’s wrath, Jesus gave up His rights, desires, freedom, and life for us. He gave of Himself to repair our relationship with the Father, so that we might have eternal life.

Experiencing the love and benefit of Christ’s sacrifice should motivate us to sacrifice for another. As Christians’, God’s love then should channel through us to others.

Love, true love, not the love pictured in movies or shows, should be what leads us. Love should lead us alongside our knowledge because love focuses on others, while knowledge by itself often focuses on us and our rights.

(2) At times, our rights must be sacrificed

While Paul agrees with the Corinthians that eating food offered to an idol is a matter of indifference, he also tells us that we are to use our “rights” in a way that does not cause another to stumble.

“But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak.” (1 Cor. 8:9)

It might be our freedom to do something, but if our actions are harming another person’s faith instead of building them up, we must be willing to give that thing up. That’s what love does.

Whereas, knowledge looks at a situation and says: I have the freedom and right to do that. Love looks at a situation and asks: will my right harm another? Where we determine our actions could harm another’s faith; where it would tear them down instead of build them up, we don’t do it.

For instance, we live in a technologically savvy world. Facebook has become a normal part of our lives. One of the great things about Facebook, and social media in general, is the connections we can make with others.

Whereas in the past, we might have only been able to connect with and keep up with a small group of people in our own community, through Facebook we can connect with people halfway around the world and keep up with friends from our past.

With those connections comes influence. Influence like we have never had before. Through my posts I can influence the way people think not only in my immediate community, but also in my global community.

With influence comes responsibility.

As a member of Facebook, I have the freedom and right, to post almost anything, but as a Christian, that doesn’t mean I should. Instead, my first thought before posting something should be: How will this be perceived by another?

  • Will it be positive and build them up in their faith?
  • Will it tear them down in their faith?
  • Will it lead them to think or act in a way that is contrary to God’s Word?
  • Will it lead them into excess?

After answering those questions, we may conclude that our post is not beneficial. At that point, we have a decision to make. Will we give up our right to post what we were going to for the sake of another? Or will we go through with it because it is our right to do so? Paul tells us at times we must be willing to give up our rights for the sake of another.

(3) There is a difference between leading others into sin and leading others into the truth

I don’t want you to get the impression that we should never challenge another person. We should challenge other people to think and act differently, especially when we are challenging them to think and act in a more biblical way.

There is a distinction between leading others into sin and leading others into the truth. If we have knowledge that someone else doesn’t have, we may temper our actions, some of the things we post, or say in a public forum, if we know our actions would hinder their faith. That, however, doesn’t mean we don’t teach them what God’s Word says in another setting.

While our actions could lead another into sin. Dialoguing with them and teaching on a particular subject, where we can explain ourselves and expose them to Scripture can lead them into the truth.

Teaching, challenging, and dialoguing is something we should do. It is an area in which we shouldn’t hold back because our desire isn’t to make good, neat legalists, but gospel-centered followers of Jesus.

So there is a difference between leading others into sin and leading them into the truth. One we should do and one we shouldn’t do.

Conclusion

Love then should lead us. It should lead us because love will do what is best for others, whereas knowledge will more often do what is best for us.

Question for Reflection

  1. What are you allowing to lead you: Knowledge? Or love alongside your knowledge?

Resources

Post adapted from the sermon: Let Love Lead You, which you can listen to here. Image

How are We to Love Others? – Part 3

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Discipleship, Practical2 Comments

Love others

As disciples, our love should imitate Jesus loves for us. But what exactly does that look like. In other words, how are we to love others as an imitation of Jesus’ love?

How are We to Love Others As an Imitation of Jesus’ Love?

(3) Jesus’ Love is Continual

It’s not temporary. He doesn’t love us for a time and drop us. He doesn’t fall out of love with us. Nor does He trade us in for a new model after a few years. Jesus’ love is continual. It never wanes or goes out. It always burns hot for us.

Likewise, our love for others should be the same. In 1 John 3:11, John commands us to

“Love one another.” (1 Jn 3:11b)

The Greek Grammatical category for love John uses is a customary present. It is important to know that because it tells us our love, just like Jesus’ love, should be continual. It should never go out. We should never fall out of love with someone. Instead, we should continually love them no matter what they do or how they act.

One really awesome thing about a lot of the couples in my church is that they have exhibited this type of love. There are a lot of couples who have celebrated 30, 40, 50 years of marriage, which is a great testament to continually loving someone over the years.

I mean in 30, 40, or 50 years a lot changes. Not only physically but also personally — people’s likes and dislikes, what they want out of life, and how they act — change. So to love someone despite those changes is a real testament to true love.

In the same way many of in my church have loved their spouse, we are supposed to love others — continually. Despite what they do and how they change. We are to love them.

Question for Reflection

  1. How have you loved someone continually?

Resources

Post adapted from the sermon Love Others – Growth through discipleship – week 3

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How are We to Love Others? – Part 2

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Discipleship, PracticalLeave a comment

Love others

As disciples, our love should imitate Jesus loves for us. But what exactly does that look like. In other words, how are we to love others as an imitation of Jesus’ love?

How are We to Love Others As an Imitation of Jesus’ Love?

(2) Jesus’ love is unconditional

We know Jesus’ love is unconditional because Jesus sacrificed Himself for us even while we were His enemies. In 1 John 4:10, John writes,

“In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” (1 Jn 4:10).

So John tells us that Jesus came and died for us while we were His enemies. He died for those who sinned against Him. He died for His enemies because His love is unconditional.

As Christians, we are to imitate Jesus’ love, which means our love is to be unconditional. It can’t just be reserved for those who love us, or for those who have or can do something for us. Instead we should love others regardless of their love for us.

A Story of Unconditional Love

It has been a few years now, but you might remember the story of Atheist Patrick Greene who brought a lawsuit against the city of Athens, TX. The city allowed a nativity to be displayed at the courthouse  and Greene wanted it removed.

While he was waiting on a court date, his eyes started bothering him. I don’t remember all the details, but he ended up needing to get eye surgery to fix his problem. To save money, he dropped the lawsuit against the city. But before he was able to save enough for his surgery, his eyesight worsened. Since he was a cab driver, he could no longer work, which meant he could no longer save money for his surgery.

One of the churches in Athens, TX found out about Greene’s condition. Instead of celebrating, instead of saying he got what he deserved, they started to send him money so he could pay for his surgery. After they started doing that, other Christians in other churches around the nation started sending Greene money for his surgery and bills as well.

All these folks did this even though Greene was an atheist. Even though it was his mission to have that nativity removed from the courthouse. Even though he was persecuting them, they cared for him, they loved him.

Their actions didn’t go without notice. Greene’s heart was softened to the point where he used some of the money he received to purchase a star for the top of the nativity. He even said he was planning to move to Athens and start meeting with some of the folks from the church to discuss the Bible after his surgery.

So as Christians we should not only imitate Jesus’ self-sacrificial love, but we should also imitate His unconditional love by loving everyone we come into contact with no matter how they act towards us or what they can do for us.

Question for Reflection

  1. How have you loved someone unconditionally?

Resources

Post adapted from the sermon Love Others – Growth through discipleship – week 3

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How are We to Love Others? – Part 1

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Discipleship, Practical2 Comments

Love others

As disciples, our love should imitate Jesus loves for us. But what exactly does that look like. In other words, how are we to love others as an imitation of Jesus’ love?

How are We to Love Others As an Imitation of Jesus’ Love?

(1) Jesus’ Love is Self-Sacrificial

Smack dab in the middle of the verse 16 in 1 John 3, John says:

“[Jesus] laid down his life for us.” (1 Jn. 3:16b)

Then John goes on to tell us, based on what Jesus did, we ought to lay our life down for others. When he says that, he doesn’t mean we should all go out and kill ourselves for the benefit of others. While Jesus gave up His physical life for others, He gave up much more than that. He also sacrificed His desires, what he could have been, what He could have done, for our benefit; for our good.

So when we talk about loving others self-sacrificially, we aren’t talking about us offing ourselves for another. Instead we are talking about something more. We are talking about dying to self for the good of others.

When I think of someone who sacrificed for another like this, I think of Lloyd Latimer, who is Jen’s granddad. About 8 or so years ago, his wife Ruth, who just recently passed, suffered a stroke. She survived but was physically limited. One side of her body was paralyzed.

This happened when they were in their 80’s. But even though he was getting up in age, he didn’t want to put his wife in a nursing home, so he committed to take care of her. For about 8 years he did. He cooked all their meals, got all the groceries, cleaned the house, took her to all her doctor’s appointments. He bathed her, took her to the bathroom, and even dressed her. Everyday, 24 hours a day, he took care of her.

In order to do that, he had to make some sacrifices. He had to give up his wants, his comfort, his desires for his wife’s. He did that — he was willing to die to self — because he loved his wife.

So when we talk about love being self-sacrificial, what we are talking about is dying to self for the good of others, which tells us love is more than a feeling. Love is an action.

Question for Reflection

  1. How have you loved someone self-sacrificially?

Resources

Post adapted from the sermon Love Others – Growth through discipleship – week 3

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On the Christian Message

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Devotionals, Quotes20 Comments

Christians proclaim the unthinkable. We believe that God became a man, the man Jesus Christ. God, who cannot suffer and die, becomes a man so that he can do the incomprehensible: the God-man dies.

In his Son Jesus Christ, the God of life and holiness faces the reality of death and sin.

What kind of God are we talking about here? He becomes a man not merely so that we might better understand his teachings, but that he might bring reconciliation. He dies that he might overcome sin and death.

Question for Reflection

  1. Do you see just how scandalous God’s love is for His people?

Resources

Kelly Kapic, God So Loved, He Gave, 71.

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