Tag: feelings

Respectable Sins: Anger | Part 3

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Discipleship, Practical, Respectable Sins5 Comments

Angry Birds

In the last post in this series, I answered the question: What is the cause of sinful anger? Today I will look at how we are to respond when others sin against us.

How to Respond When Others Sin Against Us

When others sin against us, we can respond in one of two ways. We can:

  1. Get angry
  2. We can respond by being mindful of God

Instead of anger, we should be mindful of God. Peter gives this advice to a slave who has an unjust master.

In 1 Peter 2:18-20 he writes,

“Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the unjust. For this is a gracious thing, when, mindful of God, one endures sorrows while suffering unjustly. For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God.”

What does it mean to be mindful of God?

Being mindful of God means that we are to think of God’s will and His glory instead of our will and our glory. Instead of getting angry and blowing up on another, we relax, take a deep breath, and think about our Christian witness. In order to do this we have to see God’s glory as more important than our own.

Admittedly, keeping God’s glory supreme is difficult. For that reason, Jerry Bridges provides a few questions we can ask to keep ourselves mindful of God:

  1. How would God have me respond in this situation?
  2. How can I best glorify God by my response?
  3. Do I believe that this difficult situation or this unjust treatment is under the sovereign control of God and that in His infinite wisdom and goodness He is using these difficult circumstances to conform me more to the likeness of Christ? (see Rom. 8:28; James 1:2-4)

By being mindful of God, we can better deal with our anger when others sin against us. So the next time you are tempted to blow up on another, keep your witness and God’s glory in mind.

Question for Reflection

  1. Are you mindful of God when others sins against you?
  2. Do you have God’s glory in mind or your own pride?
  3. Can you think of a situation where you were mindful of God and it served as an effective witness?

Looking Forward

In the next post in this series, I will talk about how we show our anger.

Resources

Post adapted from Jerry Bridges, Respectable Sins, 121-28

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Respectable Sins: Anger | Part 2

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Discipleship, Practical, Respectable Sins4 Comments

Angry Birds

In the last post in this series, I defined anger, talked about one form of anger, which is righteous anger, and gave an example. Today we move on to sinful anger, discussing its cause.

What is the Cause of Sinful Anger?

Is should be said first that others are not the cause of our anger. No one causes us to be angry. The actions or words of others are just an occasion for anger to surface. The cause of anger is our own pride, selfishness, or desire to be in control.

Examples

It may be helpful to look at a few examples. As we do, help me pick out the underlying cause of anger in each.

Example #1

You agree to come and speak at a gathering at my house this Friday. I have told all my friends you are going to be there, but then when Friday rolls around, the appointment slips your mind and you don’t show up. The next day you call to apologize, and I jump all over you.

What is the cause of my anger? 

The cause of my anger is pride because you made me look bad in front of my friends.

Example #2 

You hear that someone in the church gossiping about you. When you find out whom, you approach them, but instead of approaching them lovingly, you blow up and start yelling.

What is the cause of your anger?

Again, the cause of your anger is pride, which results from your character and reputation being questioned.

Example #3 

At church, there is vote on whether to move the Sunday service time from 11am to 10:30am. When the vote is tallied, you lose, and the service is moved to 10:30am despite your objection. When you realize you lost, you become angry.

What is the cause of your anger?

Your anger could be caused by a number of underlying sins: a desire to be in control, your selfishness, or your pride.

What Does this Tell Us?

This simple exercise tells us our anger, while provoked by others, is not ultimately caused by them. It is caused by our own sinfulness. As well as we learn there are underlying sins – control, selfishness, and pride. It is appropriate to restrain ourselves when provoked, but if we want to kill the sin of anger, we must deal with these other sins as well.

Question for Reflection

  1. What often causes you to become angry? Is it a desire to be in control, selfishness, or pride?

Looking Forward

In the next post in this series, I will provide a way we can respond when others sin against us.

Resources

Post adapted from Jerry Bridges, Respectable Sins, 121-28

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X-Ray Questions: What do you think you need?

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Discipleship, Practical, X-Ray QuestionsLeave a comment

This week we continue our X-Ray Questions series, as we look at what you think you need. You can read the other posts in this series by clicking here.

X-Ray Question:

(7) What do you think you need? What are your felt needs?

Questions 2 and 3 exposed your aims in terms of activity and pursuit. This question exposes your aims in terms of what you hope to receive, get, and keep. Felt needs are frequently taken as self-evident necessities to be acquired, not as deceptive slave-masters. Our culture of need reinforces the flesh’s instincts and habits. In most cases, a person’s felt needs are slang for idolatrous demands for love, understanding, a sense of being in control, affirmation, and achievement.

Understand

First, understand that your needs are already known by (Matt. 6:8-15) and taken care of by the Lord (Matt. 6:24-32).

Second, understand that our culture drives/reinforces these felt needs through both electronic (t.v., internet, and radio) and print (magazines, books, and photography) media.

Third, by reflecting on the things we think we need, we can gain a good understanding of the ways we are seeking love and affirmation from others. It also shows us what we think we need to control and/or achieve, in order to gain affirmation.

For instance, we may believe we need a new car, new clothing, a certain degree, job, apartment, etc, so we will be accepted and loved by others. Instead of finding our acceptance and love in our relationship with Christ, we are seeking acceptance and love from others through certain possessions that tell the world we are successful.

When we truly reflect on the reasons we desire the things mentioned above, we learn what we hope to, receive, get, and keep from buying a new car, new clothing, acquiring a certain degree, job, or apartment.

On the one hand, we may be seeking these things as a status symbol. On the other hand, we may be seeking these things for our own comfort and protection. When we seek these things for comfort or protection, we are seeking to control the universe, rather than subjecting ourselves to God’s rule. We forget God is in control that He alone is the Sovereign Ruler of the universe.

Repent

We should repent by realizing we do not need to manufacture a certain status that gains us acceptance, love, or affirmation from the world. As Christians, our status before God should be enough because through it we gain genuine and everlasting acceptance, love, and affirmation from God.

Through our belief in Christ, we are made sons of God. Our relationship with God is repaired, and we enjoy the love, mercy, grace, and acceptance of God through Christ. As a result, we should not desire, nor do we need, the acceptance of the world.

Scripture

Here are a few passages from God’s word to meditate on this week, as you consider your felt needs: Matt. 6:8-15; 6:25-32; 1 Kings 3:5-14; all the prayers in the Bible express reoriented felt needs.

All X-Ray questions taken from David Powlison’s book Seeing with New Eyes.

Image: scottchan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

X-Ray Questions: What do you feel like doing?

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Discipleship, Practical, X-Ray QuestionsLeave a comment

This week we continue our X-Ray Questions series, as we look at what do you feel like doing. You can read the other posts in this series by clicking here.

X-Ray Question:

(5) What do you feel like doing? 

This is slang for question 2, what do you desire? To be “feeling-oriented” means to make your wants your guide: “I feel like cursing you. I don’t feel like doing my chores.”

Understand

When we do what we feel like doing, we are allowing our wants to be our guide, rather than Scripture. We must recognize when we are allowing our desires to override what Scripture commands we do. We can check ourselves by asking: Do my actions or thoughts align with Scripture? Is this something I feel like doing, or is it something God would have me do?

When we are leading ourselves, God is not leading us. Which is opposed to the examples put forth in Scripture. Consistently the Psalmist calls God his refuge and his protection, the One who leads and guides him with His wise counsel (Pss.13:23-28). God’s wisdom far outweighs our wisdom, His counsel is better than the wisest man. As a result, we need to seek God and His leading, rather than allow our feelings to lead us.

If we are Christians, when we are led by our feelings, we are allowing our unregenerate nature to lead us. The same nature that is contrary to the Lord. As a result, when we allow our feelings to lead us, we will almost always seek to gratify the desires of the flesh and glorify ourselves, rather than God.

Repent

Repent by realizing that by allowing our feelings to lead us, we are reverting back to the leading of our sinful nature, and we are not being guided and led by the wisdom of God.

When we put our faith in Christ, trusting that His sacrifice on the cross paid the price for our sins, our relationship with God is restored, and we are released from the bondage of sin, making us free to follow and serve Him.

Scripture

Here are a few passages from God’s word to meditate on this week, as you consider what is leading you: Pss. 17:14-15; 73:23-28; Prov. 10:3; 10:28; 11:6-7; Gal. 5:16-25; Eph. 2:3; 4:22; 2 Tim. 2:22; Titus 3:3; 1 Peter 1:14; 2:11; 4:2; 2 Peter 1:4; 2:10; James 1:14-15; 4:1-3.

All X-Ray questions taken from David Powlison’s book Seeing with New Eyes.