Tag: family

The Lord’s Supper is a Family Meal

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn PracticalLeave a comment

“And he sent two of his disciples and said to them, “Go into the city, and a man carrying a jar of water will meet you. Follow him, and wherever he enters, say to the master of the house, ‘The Teacher says, Where is my guest room, where I may eat the Passover with my disciples?’ And he will show you a large upper room furnished and ready; there prepare for us.” And the disciples set out and went to the city and found it just as he had told them, and they prepared the Passover.” (Mk 14:13–16)

After Jesus and His Disciples came to the house where the Passover meal was prepared, they reclined at the table and began to eat.

We read this as if it is what was supposed to happen — Jesus gathering with His disciples to eat the Passover. But that is not typically what would take place. Typically the physical family would gather together. The eldest father would preside over the meal. But that is not what takes place here. Instead, Jesus gathers together with His disciples. In doing so, He and they understand that they are family. That Jesus is the head of the family.

In the Lord, as Christians, we enter into a family. A family with Jesus as our head, which is why we can call one another brother and sister. It is important to understand we are family because family watches out for and looks after one another. Family cares for one another. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we are to look out for and care for one another. Our relationships with one another should be deep and wide, not shallow. We should know how to serve one another, how to minister to one another. We shouldn’t have cursory relationships with those at our church. We are family. Family knows one another. Family cares for one another. The Lord’s Supper reveals and points to the fact that we are family.

As a family meal, the Lord’s Supper is reserved for those:

(1) Who are a part of the family.

When we believe in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, we become a part of a family. A family of believers. We may be from different races, nationalities, backgrounds, and socioeconomic classes, but Jesus brings us all together as a family. It’s the family that is invited to this meal.

The Lord’s Supper is not for those who are unbelievers.

It is a family meal. If you don’t believe Jesus is your Lord and Savior, you are outside of the family and you shouldn’t partake of the Lord’s Supper when you go to church.

The Lord’s Supper still has significance to the unbeliever

With that being said, that doesn’t mean the Lord’s Supper doesn’t have any significant for for those who aren’t believers.

For the unbeliever, the Lord’s Supper points to the good news that Jesus can be your substitute — that His death can stand in the place of your death. It points to your access to the family. It’s through Jesus that we enter into the family of God. While Jesus’ family is exclusive — only believers are a part of it — it is inclusive — all those who repent of their sin and believe can enter into the family.

If you aren’t a believer, let the Lord’s Supper be a witness to you. Let it be a picture of the good news of Jesus to you.

Not only is the Lord’s Supper reserved for those who are members of the family, but it is also limited to those:

(2) Who are unified family members

In order to come to the table together and eat, we must be unified. We must be a cohesive family unit. We can’t be harboring sin, holding a grudge, or mad at another and still expect to sit down and eat with them. No, we must be unified with one another in order to eat.

Lastly, family meals are limited to those:

(3) Who aren’t harboring unrepentant sin.

If you are knowingly engaging in sinful activities and you refuse to repent of that sin, your relationship with the Father is hindered. Until you mend that relationship, you should not take the Lord’s Supper. For as Paul talks about in one of his letters to the Corinthians, you may be eating and drinking wrath on yourself because you are presuming on the grace of God.

Conclusion

The Lord’s Supper not only reminds us of Jesus’ sacrifice and future reign but it also reminds us that we need to deal with family relationships and unrepentant sin in our lives. The Lord’s Supper is a family meal. Are you a part of the family?

Are you a real man?

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Devotionals2 Comments

““…Be strong, and show yourself a man, and keep the charge of the LORD your God, walking in his ways and keeping his statutes, his commandments, his rules, and his testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn,” (1 Ki 2:2b–3)

King David gives final instruction to his son, Solomon, before he passes. What David says in these verses is applicable for all men everywhere, not just David’s son.

He tells Solomon a real man follows the Lord. He keeps his ways and statutes, his commandments and rules, his testimonies. Real men don’t blaze their own path. They don’t intimidate others so as to get their own way. They aren’t closed off to the things of God. They don’t stay home while their family attends church. They don’t let mom act as the spiritual leader of the family. Real men follow the Lord.

Culture, even recent modern culture with its focus on changing the way men act, portrays men in a wholly unbiblical way. Either you are a macho masculine man who blazes a path based on strength or you are emasculated so much so that you don’t speak out of turn and celebrate everything the culture says is right and good. But these two paths are not the biblical path.

The biblical path of manhood is meekness (controlled strength) not weakness. It is humility not pride. It is submission to the Lord not ruling in His place. It is love for family not domination. It is justice, equity, mercy and grace. It is care for others. It is self-sacrifice rather than selfishness.

Men, it is no wonder we craft and live by our own rules. Following the Lord is not easy, it is difficult. Nay, it is impossible without Him working in your heart, drawing you to Himself, and constantly changing you through the work of the Spirit.

Men, we show ourselves to be thus by following the Lord. Be a man this week!

How Can Husbands Love Their Wives Self-Sacrificially?

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Family, PracticalLeave a comment

The Bible calls husbands to love their wives self-sacrificially. In Colossians 3:19 the apostle Paul writes,

“Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” (Col 3:19)

And again in Ephesians 5, comparing a husband’s love to Jesus’ love of the church, Paul says:

“In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” (Eph 5:28)

We could explore other passages, but you get the point. The Bible is big on husbands loving their wives.

The Type of Love

The type of love husbands are to have for their wives is a self-sacrificial love. We know this because the Greek word behind love in these verses is agape. Agape, in Greek, denotes a self-sacrificial love. It is same love Jesus demonstrated when He went to the cross for our sins, sacrificing Himself for us. Agape love then is a love that gives rather than takes. It is a love that sacrifices.

How do we love our wives in a self-sacrificial manner?

(1) We love our wives self-sacrificially by not being harsh with her.

In the second half of verse 19 in Colossians 3, Paul specifically commands husbands not to be “harsh” with their wives. When I first read this, I didn’t fully understand what Paul was saying, so I did some research into the word “harsh”.  I found it means that husbands aren’t to make their wives bitter or resentful because of unfair or abusive treatment. Instead, husbands are to treat their wives fairly, not using or abusing them. As well as husbands aren’t to make decisions or perform actions that would make their wives resentful.

What are some things that might make your wife resentful?

  • An unwillingness or not offering to help with the kids.
  • Not abiding by the family budget.
  • Going off with your buddies all the time instead of doing things with the family.
  • Glueing yourself to the TV instead of helping out around the house or talking with your wife.
  • Caring or ministering to others whenever they ask, but not setting aside time to do so for your wife.

(2) We love our wives self-sacrificially by leading in a non-selfish way

Being the head or the leader of your household doesn’t mean you always get your way. That’s not how Jesus leads. Since we are modeling our love and leadership after His, we should act as He acts. When Jesus came it wasn’t all about Him, instead, it was all about us. Remember, He left His heavenly abode, took the body of a man, gave up His rights, and His life for us.

We are to do the same. We are to give up our rights for our wives, sacrificing for them, instead of always demanding our own way. When we do that, we are loving and leading in a non-selfish way.

(3) We love our wives self-sacrificially by seeking to build her up in the Lord.

Husbands are to do all they can to promote their wife’s well-being and sanctification. Marriage, then, is about more than fulfilling our own sexual appetites. It is about us working to build up and sanctify our wives, washing them with the Word of God, in order to ready them to meet their heavenly husband — Christ.

(4) We love our wives self-sacrificially by providing for her physically and emotionally.

As a husband, we are to make sure we are doing all that we can to provide for our wife. Certainly that means we are to make sure her basic needs are met. But our wife’s basic needs are just one area for which we are to provide. Along with providing physically, we are also to provide emotionally. Men, including myself, often miss the mark on this one. I believe that is because it is easier for us to spend our energy working than it is to spend our energy talking, listening, and drawing our wives out. But if we want to love our wives as Christ loves the church – self-sacrificially – we must provide for both her physical and emotional needs.

Question for Reflection

  1. What other ways can a husband self-sacrificially love his wife?

Resources

Image

Adapted from my sermon A Wife’s Submission and a Husband’s Love

 

Protect Your Wife From Yourself

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Books, Family, Quotes2 Comments

lthe-masculine-mandateI used to think that if a man came into my house to attack my wife, I would certainly stand up to him. But then I came to realize that the man who enters my house and assaults my wife every day is me, through my anger, my harsh words, my complaints, and my indifference. As a Christian, I came to realize that the man I needed to kill in order to protect my wife is myself as a sinner.

Richard Philips, The Masculine Mandate, 87

Should We Redefine Quality Time in the Internet Age?

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Family, Practical2 Comments

I recently came across an old article I had saved that appeared in the New York Times back in 2011. The article is entitled Quality Time, Redefined. It was written by Alex Williams. You can read it here. In his article, Williams argues computers, Kindles, and iDevices, such as the iPhone, iPad, and iTouch, are creating a different form of quality time for families.

Quality Time?

Throughout the article, Williams provides anecdotal evidence from families and couples, who believe these devices have given them more opportunity for quality time, even though they are simultaneously connected to “parallel worlds” through their iDevices. He tells of a family who spends their nights reading, watching shows on iTunes, doing homework, and playing video games all at the same time, in the same room, on each of their individual devices, while interacting with one another about the content they are digesting.

One mom says, “An evening like that can bring more closeness than a night spent huddling over a board game back in the days of analog.”

Williams agrees, and he believes this and other accounts serve as evidence that “technology is bringing the family together, not pulling it apart.” He believes families are pulled together because the “proliferation of devices and media options make it easier for family members to pursue their interests online while seated in the same room.”

But does spending time doing your own thing, submerged in your own world, really count as quality time?

Not in my opinion. Sure, these families are in the same room, and they may even be interacting, but they are not building meaningful relationships with one another. They are, instead, projecting their digital world onto each other through momentary blips of conversation, which doesn’t serve to build deep relationships.

Relationship are built by interacting with one another in a meaningful way. In this article, you don’t hear of anyone talking about their day, the struggles they are having at work or school. Parents are not walking their children through Scripture, nor are they teaching, or even modeling a Christian worldview. Husbands are not washing their wives in the Word, and no one is practicing or learning self-sacrifice. Instead, they are celebrating Mario Kart victories, and sharing an occasional laugh at the latest Facebook video.

These families have not found a new way to experience quality time together. They have, instead, found a new way to experience “Me Time”, while making themselves feel as if they are experiencing family time.

Quality Time Involves

Quality time involves members of the family actually talking to and interacting with one another on a deeper level. Rather than treat the iPad as if it is a pacifier for teenagers, parents need to spend time talking with and drawing their kids out, and couples should be doing the same. A night on the couch indulging in Facebook, Twitter, and Hulu does not build long and lasting relationships. Nor does it allow parents to teach their children the ways of the Lord.

Families need to take time to unplug and disengage from their computers long enough to actually sit and talk with one another. Rather than “veg out” in front of the latest iDevice, parents should be opening the Scriptures with their children and teaching them what the Word of the Lord says. They should be modeling prayer and true Christian fellowship for their children. As well as parents should be spending time discussing the latest social trends, in order to help their children, teenagers in particular, develop a Christian worldview. Doing these things constitutes quality time.

Conclusion

So while the latest technologies are allowing families to spend more time in the same room together, it does not mean they are spending quality time together. Quality time is not interacting while having screen time. Instead, quality time is time together engaged in real and meaningful activity and conversation, which is uninterrupted and unencumbered by our iDevices.

Question for Reflection

  1. What do you regard as quality time?

Authority Isn’t A Bad Thing

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Family, Leadership, PracticalLeave a comment

Authority. The first thing most people do when they hear the word is cringe or prepare to reject it at all costs.

Rejecting authority is our natural reaction. It has been ingrained in us since the beginning. Our first parent’s Adam and Eve rejected God’s authority for their own, leading us to do the same ever since. So it is only natural we buck at the idea of authority.

Everyone is Under Authority

While that is our natural reaction, God tells us everyone is under authority.

But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God (1 Cor. 11:3).

God’s authority structure is arranged so that:

  • The head of every man is Jesus Christ.
  • The head of every wife is her husband.
  • The head of Jesus Christ is God.

An Objection

Immediately, upon reflecting on this list, some, especially those in the feminist movement, look at this structure and say, “God thinks woman are less valuable than men because they are subjected to them.” But that is not true. God’s structure isn’t based on worth, it’s based on roles.

Tax season ended several months ago. I don’t know about you but that is one of two seasons I don’t look forward to — summer in Texas being the other. But, as we all know, those are two seasons you can’t avoid, because they come back year after year.

When you finally sit down to fill out those dreaded tax forms, one question that appears on your form is: Are you the head of the household?

When the IRS asks that question, they don’t mean to imply that your children, or even your spouse, is of lesser value than you. They simple want to know the role you play in your family.

In a similar way, God’s authority structure is also based on the role we play in our family, which means men are not of greater value than women, they just play a different role. A role assigned by God, as the head of the family.

Digging Deeper Into the Structure

As we dig deeper into God’s ordained structure, we learn:

(1) Men must submit to Jesus

Men are not given absolute authority. Instead, men must act under Jesus’ directive because He is our head.

With Jesus as our head, we must allow Him to guide us, to lead us. As well as we must exercise our role of authority as Jesus would.

A good example of how Jesus exercises His authority is found in Ephesians 5:25-30

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.” (Eph 5:25–30)

Ephesians 5 teaches men several things about leadership – how we are supposed to lead and what our role as the head of the family looks like.

According to Ephesians 5, men are to love, sacrifice for, provide for, care for, and protect their families, their wives. We aren’t to dominate them with a heavy hand. Nor are we to abuse, or use them. Instead, we are to love them as Jesus loves the church, giving of ourselves for them. We are to do everything in our power to care for them, protect them, and provide for them. We should also nourish them with the Word of God, leading them spiritually.

We should do all this, while at the same time allowing Jesus to lead us. He should continually be our example of headship, as well as our leader.

(2) Wives must submit to their husbands

I am fully aware that this is a controversial statement, especially in this day and age. But we are going to tackle it anyways.

What does it mean for a wife to submit to her husband?

Let me start with what it doesn’t mean, because I think that will clear up some misunderstanding.

  • It doesn’t mean you are to be dominated by your husband.
  • It doesn’t mean you can’t disagree with or even challenge your husbands ideas.
  • It doesn’t mean your husband can use and abuse you and you must take it willingly.
  • It doesn’t mean you can’t call your husband out on his sin.
  • It can’t mean any of those things because a husband is supposed to lead like Jesus.

Instead, what it means for a wife to submit to her husband is that:

  • She willingly accepts her God give role as her husband’s helper.
  • She willingly allows him to lovingly lead her, as Jesus is leading him.
  • She willingly accepts his decisions, as he seeks to do what is best for his family both physically and spiritually.

We know this is what it means for a wife to submit to her husband because her submission is based on Jesus’ submission to His father.

A wife’s submission is modeled by Jesus 

Even though Jesus is equal with the Father and God Himself, He willingly accepted His position as the Son, submitting to His Father. In doing so:

  • He accepted His role as Christ — the One who died for the sins of mankind.
  • He willingly allowed the Father to lead and guide Him, even to the cross.
  • He willingly accepted the Father’s will, allowing His decisions to be final.

Just as a husband is to be led by Jesus as he leads his family, a wife is to be led by Jesus as she submits to her husband. We are to live in obedience to the roles we are given in God’s authority structure.

Submission As A Reflection of the Gospel & God’s Wisdom

When both husband and wife submit according to God’s good design, two things happen.

(1) We Reflect the Gospel – by sacrificing our will for God’s will, just like Jesus sacrificed His will and His self for us.

(2) We Reflect God’s Wisdom – by showing the world that things go well when we function within our roles.

Before I accepted my first full-time pastorate, I worked for a staffing and recruiting company based out of Atlanta.

Relatively early in my tenure, I had the opportunity to move to Dallas and help open the companies first satellite office. When we moved, the owners did something I would never do. They didn’t appoint a manager for the office. Their thought was that a leader would naturally rise to the top that others in the office would follow. When that happened, they would promote that person to office manager.

In theory, that sounds good. In reality, it didn’t work. The result was an unproductive work environment that kept the office from thriving.

No one knew who “really” was in charge, who they were supposed to take orders from, or even their own role. The result was chaos, conflict, and an office that didn’t run as a well oiled machine.

Likewise, there is chaos and conflict in the family, when individual family members operate outside their God given roles. On the other hand, when we function within our God given roles, things run smoothly.

When we really think hard about it, we realize authority isn’t such a bad thing, it is instead a good thing that shouldn’t be despised, cringed at, or rejected. It’s something that should be embraced as a means of grace by which God provides for His people.

Question for Reflection

  1. Do you think of God’s authority as a means of grace?

Resources

Post adapted from my recent sermon God’s Authority Structure, which can be listened to in its entirety here.

Image