Category: Discipleship

Respectable Sins: Self-Control | Part 2

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Discipleship, Practical, Respectable Sins2 Comments

This week, I am focusing on the Respectable Sin of Self-Control. In my last post, I dealt with self-control with our eating and drinking. In this post, temper will be the main subject.

Temper

Let’s start by painting a quick picture of a person with a hot temper:

A person with a hot temper tends to be one who has quick but intense bursts of anger often followed by a calm disposition. They tend to become easily angry or irritable, and they exercise little or no control over their emotions.

What is often the cause of these outbursts of anger and who are they directed towards? 

Outbursts of anger are usually directed against anyone who displeases us. A driver on the highway who cuts us off. An umpire who makes a bad call. A family member who challenges us. A dog who constantly play bites when play time is over. These all can cause outbursts of anger, as well as they are the ones’ the anger is typically directed towards.

What does Scripture have to say?

Scripture has a number of warnings about those who are quick tempered. Let’s look at some of those:

“A man of quick temper acts foolishly, and a man of evil devices is hated.” (Pr 14:17)

“Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.” (Pr 16:32)

“A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.” (Pr 17:27)

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls” (Jas 1:19-21)

So we see that a quick tempered person is quick to speak. His words are not carefully consider. Rather he speaks foolishly. He is not wise. And he does not produce the righteousness of God. Not a great list of qualities.

How do we rid ourselves of our temper?

We have to put away all filthiness (moral uncleanliness) and rampant (something spreading unchecked) wickedness. We do that by allowing the word of the gospel implanted in us to convict and teach us. After which we must exercise self-control with our temper, which we can only do through the power of the gospel.

Questions for Reflection

  1. Can you think of a time when you spoke too quickly because of your quick temper? What was the result?
  2. Can you think of any Scripture you would point others to who are dealing with a lack of self-control in regard to temper?
  3. When do you notice your temper flaring?

Resources

[1] Jerry Bridges, Respectable Sins, 112

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Respectable Sins: Self-Control | Part 1

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Discipleship, Practical, Respectable Sins1 Comment

This week, we will focus on three areas in which Christians fail to exercise self-control. This list is not meant to be exhaustive; rather it is meant to get us thinking about self-control and the areas in which we might not exhibit it. The three areas we will focus on are:

Before we deal with each area, let’s start by defining self-control.

Self-Control Defined

“It is a [governing] or prudently controlling of one’s desires, cravings, impulses, emotions, and passions. It is saying no when we should say no. It is moderation in legitimate desires and activities, and absolute restraint in areas that are clearly sinful. It would, for example, involve moderation in watching television and absolute restrain in viewing Internet pornography”[1].

Why is self-control so important?

A lack of self-control opens the door to other sins.

For example:

  • “A lack of control of our tongue…opens the door to all manner of defiling speech such as sarcasm, gossip, slander, and ridicule”[2].
  • A lack of control of our eyes opens the door to watching pornography, or adultery.

Now that we have the definition and know why it is important, let’s turn to the first area where we commonly do not restrain ourselves, and that is in our:

Eating and Drinking

I have to admit, I personally struggle with self-control in this area, especially when it comes to sweets. I have a major sweet tooth, making it hard for me to turn down a counter full of amazing desserts. Even though it is difficult, I must practice self-control.

Why would it be important that I, and we, practice self-control when it comes to eating and drinking?

If we do not practice self-control with our eating and drinking, we may be doing a number of things:

(1) We may open ourselves up to health problems

  • These could range from a heartache to a stroke or even to diabetes. All of which can either take our lives, or severely hinder our ability to function, which means our work and impact for God’s kingdom is then hindered.

(2) We may be weakening ourselves when it comes to other critical areas where exercising self-control is necessary 

  • We cannot pick and choose in what areas we exercise self-control. Instead, we must exercise self-control in all areas of life. For if we don’t, then we may be opening ourselves up to a lack of control in other more critical areas.

How do we exercise self-control in our eating and drinking?

(1) Remove the Temptation – The best way to exercise self-control in this area is by removing the temptation. For me, this means not keeping sweets on hand at our house. Or when I go to Starbucks, it means that I walk past the case of delicious looking pastries quickly, while telling myself they are too expensive and the calories are not worth it.

(2) Prayer – Beyond exercising sheer will, thinking about the calories, and the cost, we need to pray. Pray that the Lord would strengthen us in this area.

(3) Accountability – Along with prayer we need to develop an accountability system. Tell someone your struggles and your plan, then have them hold you accountable.

(4) Think on Christ – Lastly, we must realize our joy and comfort is found in Christ. It is not found in the food we eat or the drinks we drink. While we can enjoy food and drink, we need not run to them for our joy and comfort. Christ is our perfect comforter, who will never leave us, nor forsake us.

Questions for Reflection

  1. Do you struggle with self-control when it comes to eating and drinking? How do you handle it?
  2. Do you find more comfort in food and drink than in Christ?
  3. Have you thought of setting up an accountability relationship? If you have, what does it look like?

Resources

[1] Jerry Bridges, Respectable Sins, 110
[2] Ibid.

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Respectable Sins: 4 Manifestations of Selfishness | Part 4

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Discipleship, Practical, Respectable SinsLeave a comment

In my last post in this series, I discussed how we are often selfish with our money. If you would like to read that post, you can do so by clicking here. Today I will deal with our selfishness regarding our consideration of others.

Our Consideration of Others

Those who are inconsiderate are really being selfish because the only consideration they have is for themselves. We see this in Philippians 1:15-17:

“Some indeed preach Christ from envy and rivalry, but others from good will. The latter do it out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely but thinking to afflict me in my imprisonment.”

What are some areas in which we can be inconsiderate?

Being inconsiderate manifests itself in a number of ways, here are just a few:

  • Always being late – When we make others wait, we are being inconsiderate of their time.
  • Talking too loudly on our cell phones – When we talk too loud on our phones in public, so that it disturbs those around us, we are being inconsiderate.
  • Being rude or indifferent to our waitress – When we are rude or indifferent to others, we show that we do not care about their feelings. We only care about our own feelings. It takes almost no effort at all to say, “Thank you.” [1]

The Greatest Example of Unselfishness 

The Lord Jesus Christ Himself is the greatest example of unselfishness. In Philippians 2:5-11, we are told that He did not hold onto His position as God for His own selfish gain. Rather, He gave up certain privileges when He came to earth as a man. He then gave up His life, dying on the cross for the sin’s of mankind, so that we might have eternal life.

How do we Mortify Selfishness?

In order to kill selfishness, we need to reflect on the gospel. We must realize that we would not have a restored relationship with God or eternal life, if Jesus had not thought others more important than Himself and humbled Himself on the cross. Thinking on Jesus’ actions should spur us on to be selfless. So then, we should pray that the Holy Spirit would show us how we are selfish and give us the power to rid that sin from our lives. We should also preach the gospel to ourselves, reminding ourselves of Christ’s selflessness.

Questions for Reflection

  1. Does your daily interactions tell you that you are inconsiderate of others?
  2. What does Christ’s sacrifice tell us about how we should act?
  3. What form does selfishness take in your life?

Resources

[1] Jerry Bridges, Respectable Sins, 105-106.

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Respectable Sins: 4 Manifestations of Selfishness | Part 3

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Discipleship, Practical, Respectable Sins2 Comments

In my last post in this series, I discussed how we are often selfish with our time. If you would like to read that post, you can do so by clicking here. Today I will deal with our selfishness regarding our money.

Our Money

America is one of the, if not the, riches countries in the world, but less than 2 percent of our money is given to charities or religious causes [1]. When we do give, it is often a minimal amount, and it is usually directed toward popular charities that have popped up as a result of a world disaster. The reason people typically give once to major popular causes rather than often to lesser known causes is because it makes them feel good, which is a form of selfishness.

Why is selfishness with our money a sin?

The reason selfishness with our money is a sin is because it is a form of greed (see Matt. 23:25). Here is what Paul has to say,

“But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one.” (1 Co 5:11)

Going even further, the underlying sin or motive of someone who is selfish with their money is at least three-fold.

First, there is a lack of trust in God. They do not trust Him to provide for their needs.

Second, there is a lack of joy in God. They seek happiness in the things money can buy, rather than in their relationship with the Lord.

Lastly, there is a lack of finding their status in Christ. Instead, they seek the status money affords them, showing they find their significance in what other people think about them.

What can we do to rid this sin from our lives?

I believe there are three things we can do:

First, we need to trust in the Lord. Realizing that He is the One who provides us with everything that we own, and He is the One who will take care of our needs.

Second, we need not find our happiness or joy in our money because it is fleeting. We only gain true joy from accomplishing our God given purpose in life, which is to serve and glorify God. Then and only then can we experiencetrue joy that is not fleeting or circumstantial. 

Lastly, we need to realize that what others think of us is not what should provide us with significance. Everyone is significant because they have been created in the image of God. As well as those who are believers are God’s children. A status and significance greater than anything the world could ever give us. So we are to find our significance in God and not in other people. 

Looking Forward

In my next post in this series, I will look at how we are selfish with our consideration of others. Until then, use the questions below to help you reflect on this post.

Questions for Reflection

  1. How does selfishness with your money manifest itself in your life?
  2. What underlying sin do you think causes you to be selfish with your money? Is it a lack of trust in God, a lack of joy in God, or a lack of recognizing your status is found in Christ alone?
  3. What other verses would you recommend for those dealing with this form of selfishness?

Resources

[1] Jerry Bridges, Respectable Sins, 104.

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12 Steps to Stop Not Evangelizing

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Discipleship, Evangelism, Pastoral, Practical2 Comments

“Evangelism” When you hear that word I am sure there are many different emotions associated with it for you. Some of you get excited and are ready to share the hope of Christ with others. Some of you think back to your conversion experience when someone was bold enough to talk with you about the gospel. While some may cringe thinking of the last time you went out knocking on people’s doors.

Not a Popular Topic

For most people evangelism is not a popular topic. I believe the reason is not because we don’t like doing it, but because when we look at our own life, we see a lack of evangelistic effort. And well, we just don’t like talking about those areas in which we are failing.

A Necessary Conversation

Even though many are failing at evangelizing the lost, I believe it is a necessary conversation to have. As those who are saved by God we are to take up God’s mission, which is to bring redemption to the world. Part of this mission is physical – serving others, helping them with their needs, etc – but the ultimate mission is spiritual. As Christians we are God’s ambassadors. We are the ones He uses to bring the gospel message to those who have not heard (Eph. 6:19-20; 2 Cor. 15:19-20). So then, we must speak to others about the gospel.

Excuses

But when it comes to evangelism you hear all kinds of excuses as to why we don’t evangelize the lost, such as:

  • I don’t know their language.
  • Evangelism is illegal in my country
  • Evangelism could cause problems at work.
  • I don’t have time.
  • I don’t know non-Christians (Probably the most common excuse).
  • People don’t want to hear the gospel.
  • They probably already know it.
  • They will not be interested.
  • I doubt they will believe it.

Some of these are legitimate, some of these are not. Some of these you have probably used in the past or even recently. Never-the-less, instead of focusing on the negative, I want to provide you with 12 things that may help you stop not evangelizing.

12 Ways to Stop Not Evangelizing

(1) Pray – We need to pray that God would give us opportunities to share the gospel with others. You may be amazed at what God will do and what opportunities He will give.

(2) Plan – If our schedules are busy, then why not plan a time to speak with others about the gospel. We may plan times throughout the week to put ourselves in a place where we can build relationships with others. As well as we may plan a time to talk with another person about the gospel by setting an appointment with them. Or we can carve out time to nurture the relationships with people we already have that are lost. Whatever it takes, we should plan to talk with others about the gospel.

(3) Accept – We have to accept that as Christians it is our job to evangelize the lost. We are God’s ambassadors and we have been sent to spread the gospel.

(4) Understand – God uses those who are not gifted with the gift of evangelism to share the gospel with others. This means evangelism is not reserved only for those who claim it is their spiritual gift. While they may be better at it than us, evangelism is the task of everyone.

(5) Be Faithful – We need to be faithful to God. This means our allegiance does not lie with man, but with God. It means that we have to be ok with offending people.

(6) Risk – We need to be willing to take risks in order to share the gospel with others. This could mean risking a conversation with them. It could mean risking giving them a book that may or may not offend them. It could mean risking your time to develop a friendship with someone so you can share the gospel with them. It may even mean risking your friendship with them. Whatever the risk, it is worth it.

(7) Prepare – Often we don’t evangelize because we do not understand how to handle the arguments people make against Christianity. We don’t know where to point them to in Scripture to answer their questions. We don’t know how to direct a conversation to a place where we can talk about Christ. But these are not reasons to not evangelize. Instead, we are to diligently prepare. This does not mean we have to all become apologists or professional evangelists. It just means we have to be willing to study a little.

(8) Look – After praying for opportunities to share the gospel, we need to be on the watch for these opportunities.

(9) Love – The reason we share the gospel is not to put another notch on our evangelism belt. It is because we love others. So then, when we don’t share the gospel we are being cold to others, promoting self-love, and desiring our comfort more than their salvation.

(10) Fear – We should fear God not man.

(11) Stop – We should stop thinking since God is sovereign I don’t need to share the gospel, or that I have to convince others to believe this message. It is the job of the Holy Spirit to convict and convince. It is our job to share.

(12) Consider – Consider what God has done for us in Christ. How He has saved us through the sacrifice of His Son. How Jesus died for us even while we were sinners. Consider also that God is glorified when we tell others about His gospel. Consider our love for God. Matthew 12:34 says,

“Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.”

Does our heart overflow with love for God so that our mouths cannot be stopped?

Resources

Why we don’t evangelize and the 12 steps to stop not evangelizing is adapted from The Gospel and Personal Evangelism, Mark Dever, 19-29.

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Respectable Sins: 4 Manifestations of Selfishness | Part 2

On By Dr. Casey LewisIn Discipleship, Practical, Respectable Sins4 Comments

In my last post in this series, I discussed how we are often selfish with our interests. If you would like to read that post, you can do so by clicking here. Today I will deal with our selfishness regarding our time.

Our Time

There is only so much time in each day. We can acquire more money, clothes, shoes, or even houses, but we cannot gain more time. There is a fixed amount of it, which makes it a prime candidate for selfishness.

How are we selfish with our time?

We are selfish with our time when we excessively guard it, or when we unduly impose on another person’s time [1]. You can tell when someone is being selfish with their time when they say things like:

  • “That is not my job!”
  • “I will do that later.”
  • “Time is money.”
  • etc.

 Or when they:

  • Ignore others
  • Are always rushing around, as if they have no time for anyone around them.
  • When they are constantly asking others to help them out regardless of the deadlines the other person has to meet.

When we, or others, use these phrases or perform these actions, selfish behavior is usually the reason.

What does Scripture have to say about how we are to act towards others?

Scripture tells us that we are to

“bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ (Gal. 6:2).

So then, if we are to bear one another’s burdens we have to go beyond our normal duties. In order for us to do that, we have to be willing to sacrifice a little bit of our time.

Looking Forward

In my next post in this series, I will look at how we are selfish with our money. Until then, use the questions below to help you reflect on this post.

Questions for Reflection

  1. How do you think we show our selfishness with our time?
  2. How do you find a balance between being selfish and getting your own things done?
  3. What other verses would you recommend when dealing with selfishness?

Resources

[1] Jerry Bridges, Respectable Sins, 104.

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